Let's talk about kink, baby.

Like controlla. ✩♬ ₊˚.🎧⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

A dom in the streets is a sub in the sheets. 

All things in life are the way they are to encourage us- the human, the being, the experiencer - to achieve balance. 

When someone is existing for much of their life disproportionately on one end of the extreme spectrum (such as working as the CEO of a huge successful company and never asking for help and taking everything on and carrying all the weight on your shoulders day in and day out) you best believe that individual is FEINING to be told what to do.

Now, let’s look at the other end of the spectrum. Maybe someone who is soft spoken, a people pleaser, reliable and patient, rarely gets their way but would never complain about it because they don’t want to cause a stir- yeah they are probably gonna wanna choke you. Lolololol. 

Kink has become this veiled taboo word because as a society we are trained to feel shame around the shadowed aspects of our psyche. Shame around our desires. The less we talk about shame the more control it has over our lives.  

Opposites attract.

What makes us attracted to someone?

We are drawn to individuals that have something that we want. This magnetic pull comes from the unconscious desire of our soul to become whole. You are attracted to them because they are doing something in the world that you aren’t brave enough to do. They have some facet that you don’t quite feel brave enough to internalize and embody, yet. When you boil down even the smallest desires to their true essence, you find kink- the urge to wholeness.

Basically every platitude and quote can be deconstructed down to - yeah, kink. Yeah, the urge towards balance.

Opposites attract because our souls are unconsciously craving oneness. “I am so sweet and angelic and I love bad boys.” Because my soul wishes for me to integrate the energetic archetype of the mischievous bad boy into my own being. When I am in my more balanced, conscious energy instead of being attracted to a specific energetic archetype, I am attracted to someone who reflect the best aspects of me back to myself. This is how to choose partners from a place of wholeness and wellness instead of from a place of “I need to fill a hole” energy.

Filling an internal emptiness with something external is always hedonic! Always will ultimately fail! 

Now when considering kink it's important we look at the energy behind the kink. What the kink represents, not literally kink itself. Because everyone has such different upbringing and exposure and genetics and pasts, the expression of kink means something different for everyone. Just because two people may have the “same” kink, doesn't mean it is filling the same emptiness within them. One person who likes dressing up as a dog to get effed might be seeking out the feeling of being owned, taken care of, loved unconditionally. Whereas another person that likes to dress up as a dog to get effed might be seeking the feeling of being wild, primal, unrefined, messy. Two totally different needs that are being expressed in similar ways. Kink is highly individual. 

Never judge your own desires.

Judgement will lead us to want to ignore our desire. Ignoring or suppressing our desires will not cause them to fade away, it actually has the adverse affect. The desire will become more and more inconvenient and loud until eventually something in our life forces us to face it head on with our full attention. It is much better to treat every single desire with close care and attention and zero judgement. It is not your fault that you want something that you want, it is just some facet of your soul that needs to be validated in order for you to become the person you are meant to become. 

Your desire is disclosing something deeply unique to you. Instead of looking at your kink directly to find out more about your own desires, look at what that kink represents for you. Anything that you crave externally is something that God is asking for you to be able to become for yourself. Once you can give yourself everything that you've ever craved, you are unstoppable. When you are balanced, you do not care what other people say to you or about you. You would always be 100% authentic because you are 100% at peace with your truth. There is nothing empty left inside that needs to be filled. Once you are full from the inside you have so much to offer.

It's all building from that point. It’s all from love.