Felt reality is the only reality.

As a woman all you should ever be concerned about is how you feel. 

This isn’t to say to throw empathy out completely and start treating everyone around you like shit. Women are inherently empathetic. It is our conditioned default to throw out our own feelings to ensure the wellness of everyone around us. When women do not value their own felt reality as the most important thing in their life, they begin the process of self-erasure. Self- erasure ensures a woman that doesn't make waves. A woman that doesn't disrupt. A woman that doesn't step on toes. A woman that stays small and people pleases. In a system where patriarchy prevails, women's self- erasure is actually the most harmful thing a woman could do to anyone. The patriarchy hurts everyone. A woman’s self- erasure hurts everyone. Hold all the opposing truths. Treat yourself with the same kindness that you give others. Be kind without pleasing people. Be loving without discarding any of your own needs. 

Your felt reality is the only reality. 

It does not matter what you are doing, who you are with, what you have or what you don’t have. All that matters is how you feel inside the experience of it all. You could have the perfect life on paper and be miserable. You could have a simple, boring life on paper but have the most euphoric internal reality. 

If you could take yourself to a place of pure bliss just by understanding how to take back control of your mind, wouldn't you?

Dig inside. Meditate on this. Why do you care how other people perceive your life? 

Can their perception of you touch you? Can it give you physical pain? Can the way they think about you in their mind impact you? 

No. 

The only thing ever impacting you and causing you to suffer is your own mind.

It is your lack of control of your own thoughts that causes suffering. 

Whenever you feel yourself worrying what other people are thinking of you all you ever have to do is return to truth. 

The truth is you never know how someone is perceiving you.

 Some truths we do know through extensive research on human behavior:

1. People most positively perceive people that are authentic and real.

2. The liking gap is a psychological phenomenon where people consistently underestimate how much others enjoyed their company and liked them after a conversation. It represents a "gap" between perceived social performance (negative) and actual impressions (positive), often caused by overanalyzing one's own insecurities during social interactions. 

3. The spotlight effect is a psychological phenomena that causes us to focus on our own flaws and mistakes much more than other people do. 

You have to remember that everyone’s number one focus is themselves. Think about how much you think about yourself. You are worrying about how you look, how you sound, how you smell. And everyone else is worrying the same thing about themselves. Understand that while you are the center of your own world, you are not the center of anyone else’s. 

Okay so now that you understand how stupid and futile it is to worry about how other people are perceiving you what can you change?

Who would you be, how would you act, what would you do if you knew nobody was judging you?

The path to a life that feels blissful as its baseline is to take singular small steps that feel blissful. 

You are way too caught up in stuff that not only doesn't matter, but is entirely imagined. 

Nothing is objectively real.

It is your own mind that keeps you trapped inside a life that does not feel good.

Change your mind to change your life.