emotions are informants.

The key to expansion and building a life you want for yourself, is to be proactive, not reactive. 

Every time you become highly emotional in response to an external stimulus you are hemorrhaging your power and peace. You are letting someone else write your story.

If you want to become someone who is unshakeable, keep reading. 

Happy Mercurial Monday.

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Emotions are informants. 

Pointing you to where your work is- to where you are still unhealed. 

(I define “healed” as being able to stay open-minded, open-hearted and hold a state of inner peace and bliss in the face of all circumstances. Our “unhealed” places are circumstances where we contract, close-off and get emotional. This is our work.)

This is where most people already blunder. Most people think it is their job to evade the emotion. 

“If this thing makes me sad, I will avoid this thing.” 

“If this person makes me mad, I will avoid this person.”

“If I drink I don’t have to feel my feelings.” 

“If I am constantly busy or working I don’t have to feel my feelings.”

“If I am always in a relationship I never have to be alone with myself.”

This is living in reaction. This is tucking your tail. This is letting contraction limit you. This is living in fear.

Living in constant reaction is the best way to ensure that you will never direct the flow of life the way you want it to go.

To live in full participation- you have to consciously work on your triggers, not attempt to escape them. Notice how I say attempt. Because that’s the thing with these emotions, they will find you eventually. And when they do, it will be with unbearable force- oftentimes in the form of sickness or a deep depression.

This is why they say - “When you are depressed, you need deep rest.” Yes, you need deep rest. Deep stillness to get quiet enough to confront the deep roots of causation. What is really going on here?

Allowing yourself to feel all of your emotions deeply, is heavy spiritual work. It is work that most people don’t have the strength to do in this lifetime.  

Emotions are extremely complex. In order to understand the truth of an emotional reaction- there is a process of examination required. Emotions exist so we can delve all the way in and extract every piece of information possible. So we can understand where we are unhealed.

The first stage of the process is to fully enter the highly emotional state. Let yourself go there. Feel the emotion and expand it. Cry, scream, grieve. Emotional states are not the places we make decisions from. Emotional states are the places where we need to be the most gentle with ourselves. Stay open. Do not numb. Do not escape. Breathe. Be with it. Keep feeling and know that emotions move like waves. Let the emotion wash over you and know that it will pass.

Once the emotion has passed- this is when you can move into stage two : examination.

What was it about the specific event that triggered such an emotional response from you?

Don’t ask “Why did this happen to me?”

Ask “Why did this affect me in the way that it did?” 

Let’s say that in this specific instance the wave of emotion that came over you was deep sadness from a break up.

You are sad because you love this person. You love their quirks and nuances- the way they smell. You are sad because the love you received from them was special and nobody else is special in the way they are. This is heartbreaking. 

But this isn’t true. 

Now that we’ve allowed ourself to go deeply through the feeling stage it is time to distinguish truth from veil. Our ego has made these things about this person special. 

(Now there is a lot of Jungian nuance here. Like, there are probably aspects of this person that you adore so much because you wish to integrate those aspects into your own identity somewhere…. but this is a whole nother newsletter!) 

Your disconnection from them feels like a disconnection from specialness. Disconnection from the one thing you wanted to connect with. 

You feel scarcity, like you can’t ever get this again. But scarcity is an illusion. Abundance is truth.

When you are analyzing the situation with consciousness you know that precisely because you found this once, you will be able to find this again. 

Where there is one there are many. 

The existence of your adoration for this person proves the existence of this adoration. 

How exciting! 

This is where the spiritual work is. 

Getting down to the essence- the actual truth of the matter. So yes, be sad from a break up. And be gentle with yourself for as long as that wave of emotion is crashing on your head.

Drown in it.

And then when it passes, find the medicine in it. 

What you do with your pain, is the most important thing. 

So now the next time this feeling comes around- something special that you adored is taken away from you- you understand that there is no scarcity. You know that you can trust in the order of the Universe, because the Universe is always conspiring to make you happy, even if you can’t see it yet, and the wave of emotion may be much smaller and shorter, until eventually the waves don't even reach your waist, you just watch them go by while feeling the sun on your face.

 And in this place you are unshakeable, and you can now move to different work. 

Growth is a spiral. New pain point- new work. Deeper pain points- deeper work.

Work towards openness to work towards constant inner peace.

love you down.

xx Bella